(Pencil) BREAKING NEWS: New WXPFL Champion crowned…from the Audience! Plus: WXPFL goes MONTHLY!

Once again, we are super late with the update, but around here we like to let the news steep for awhile to bring out the flavor.

So where were we? WXPFL X: SPLINTERED. The tenth WXPFL Championships. The final event of 2011, and the final big event before WXPFL goes monthly!

Yes, before anything else I want to proudly announce that the WXPFL Championships will become a monthly event, on the third thursday of every month starting Thurs. Feb. 16th, only at The Re-Bar in Seattle. Advance tickets available from Brown Paper Tickets http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/227735, and please check out the facebook event for more details: https://www.facebook.com/events/256187597785738/

The events of SPLINTERED certainly set a dramatic stage for our debut show at the Re-Bar.

First, the scheduled Iron Pencil rematch between Thaddeus P. Skrilla and Ronald McFondle was postponed, as Ronald McFondle was a no-show. WXPFL owner Silas Ticonderoga IV surprised everyone by appearing at the show, and announcing that McFondle’s absence was caused by his arrest by police in connection with the Jerry Sandusky sex scandal, and that the Clown Prince of WXPFL was being held in a Pittsburgh jail for questioning. Ticonderoga declared that their rematch would be rescheduled for the debut WXPFL monthly show in January, and would now be a “Pencils Break Anywhere” match. He also declared that since Skrilla had no match that night, that he would defend the title immediately against whoever won the Lottery of Lead tournament.

The Lottery of Lead tournament was a wild affair, with debuting Pro PencElvira setting a WXPFL record, with 7 fighters eliminated, but it wasn’t enough to make it into the final round, and to everyone’s surprise, it was Jimmie Asshole of the Asshole Brothers awaiting the final draw. But Jimmie had one more fighter to face, and it turned out to be an audience member – and that audience member turned out to be the brother of former WXPFL Champion Balls Deep! He claimed his name was “Asshole Beater” and proceeded to do just that, and as Jimmie Asshole’s pencil broke, the Asshole swore revenge.

The night wasn’t over for Asshole Beater though, as he still had to face longtime WXPFL Champion Thaddeus P. Skrilla for the title belt. Skrilla was cocky after dodging McFondle’s title shot earlier, and fully expected to run right over the amateur. But Asshole Beater had other plans and after a fierce contest, added Skrilla Beater to his name, and was hoisted up onto the shoulders of the other Gra-Fighters as their new WXPFL Champion!

UPDATE: Silas Ticonderoga has announced the matches for the debut episode of WXPFL at the Re-Bar. Instead of a title defense, Asshole Beater must team with his brother Balls Deep to battle Joey and Jimmie, The Asshole Brothers in the first ever official WXPFL tag team match. Asshole Beater will get a break from defending his title until March, when he will defend it against the winner of February’s Lottery of Lead tournament. The rematch between Ronald McFondle and Thaddeus P. Skrilla will take place as a dangerous Pencils Break Anywhere match, where normal rules of Pencil Fighting do not apply. The “Hundred Dollar Fortune” is on the line.

WXPFL Championships Go Monthly – Debut show Thu. Jan. 19!

The World Extreme Pencil Fighting Championships goes monthly at The Re-Bar!
The schoolyard sport of Pencil Fighting goes Pro! Pencil vs. Pencil until somebody breaks!
The World Extreme Pencil Fighting League (WXPFL) has had ten big championship events in Seattle since 2009, and in 2012, the WXPFL Extreme Pencil Fighting Championships goes monthly!

Pabst Blue Ribbon presents:
WXPFL Extreme Pencil Fighting Championships
Debut Show at The Re-Bar!
Thursday February 16th
The Re-Bar – 1114 Howell (at Boren) 8pm doors / 9pm show 21+ $8
www.pencilfightingwriting.wordpress.com – Follow us on Facebook and Twitter.
Advance tickets for sale through Brown Paper Tickets: http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/227735

FEATURING:

THE LOTTERY OF LEAD – 
Audience members take on pros in a randomly-drawn tournament for prizes and a title shot for the WXPFL Championship!

TAG TEAM MAYHEM – 
New WXPFL Champion Adam “Asshole Beater” Chesbrough teams with his brother Balls Deep and takes on the infamous Asshole Brothers in a tag team challenge match!

PENCILS BREAK ANYWHERE MATCH- 
RONALD McFONDLE vs THADDEUS P. SKRILLA “The Hundred Dollar Man” – Rematch with “The Hundred Dollar Fortune” on the line in the most dangerous match in the WXPFL – Pencils Break Anywhere!

Sponsored by Pabst Blue Ribbon, Pierced Hearts Tattoo Parlor, Scarecrow Video, Full Tilt Ice Cream Parlors, Skydottir Epic Cookies, Sin In Linen and Fantagraphics!

DON’T MISS THE WXPFL DEBUT MONTHLY AT THE REBAR, AND COME BACK THE THIRD THURSDAY OF EVERY MONTH FOR MORE EXTREME PENCIL FIGHTING ACTION!