WXPFL GRA-FIGHTER PROFILE: The Hundred Dollar Man

The Hundred Dollar Man made his first appearance at WXPFL III, but he has had his hands in WXPFL since its inception. In photo enhancements of pictures taken of the crowd, you can view Mr. Thaddeus P. Skrilla sitting in the penthouse suite atop the Jewelbox Theater at every event. Word on the street has it that he paid a team of North Korean immigrants tens of dollars in order to construct the robot that competed in prior pencil fighting tournaments before self destructing after it’s loss to the Bird.

After his robot’s failure, Mr. Skrilla has reinvested his wealth into giving himself unfair advantages in pencil fighting. He had rolls of pennies implanted into his knuckles in order to improve his defense, he bought the technology used in the film “Rookie of the Year” and had the tendons in his arm surgically altered in order to improve his pencil strike and he’s even gone as far as to use his above average wealth to hire out of work reality TV star Steven Seagal to teach him to properly stare down his opponents.

He cares nothing for the championship, but is desperate to obtain it based on sponsorships already procured from companies such as ponzischeme.com, We Pay You to Lose Weight and the Barinoff bar and diner. Coming from a moderate fortune his lifelong mottos have been “Making money is my business” and “Carpe Dime” (translated as “seize the dime”).

Skrilla finally won the WXPFL championship amidst much controversy, and has tried every attempt at avoiding defending it since then.

hundredollarman

“The Hundred Dollar Man” Thaddeus P. Skrilla

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